Organ Transplant Argument Paper (Need Help Making Revisions To Paper Based Off Of The My Instructor’s Note On Rough DraftNeed help making revisions to paper based off of the my instructor’s note on rough draft.
Running Head: ORGAN TRANSPLANT 1
ORGAN TRANSPLANT 2
Camellia C Little
Modern medicine has come a long way when it comes to saving human life. One of the most critical inventions in medicine organ [Do not capitalize this.] transplant. It was developed to give hope to patients whose organs have failed to function. The greatest challenge facing the field of organ transplantation today is a shortage of organ. More funding should be spent on the creation of artificial organs, like 3-D bioprinting, using stem cells to grow the organs in a lab and artificial pumps (Fishman & Rubin, 1998).
[Your introduction is okay, but I think you can do better. You should start with a good hook to grab the reader’s interest. How can you do that? Refer to the textbook for different types of hooks.]
The increasing global organ shortage faced by healthcare fields can be solved by the enormous potential of 3-D bioprinting. By printing human organs on demand eliminating the need for living, this technology has the potential to replace organ donors. Being an additive manufacturing process, bioprinting combines biomaterials such as growth factors and cells in the creation of tissue-like structures that imitate natural tissues. 
[Please remember to cite all of the information you learned to write this paragraph. When you use no citations, it looks like you either wrote the paragraph without using research, which misses the point of the class, or you wrote the paragraph with research that is plagiarized. Either one of those is very problematic.]
This has been worked by researchers on ways outside the human body to grow healthy organs. Promised results have been produced by methods such as blastocysts complementation. An additional benefit of growing organs is that patients are allowed to have earlier surgery since they don’t [Avoid using contractions in academic writing.] have to wait for a suitable donor. Stem cell technology advances can ensure that there would be a genetic match for its recipient in each organ. 
[Each paragraph should end with a sentence that both summarizes this paragraph and introduces the next. For example, this is one way you could end this paragraph: In addition to law-grown materials, labs should also be working on mechanical pumps. See how you can wrap up each body paragraph in a similar way.]
The function of failing organs of end-stage disease treatment is currently replaced by organs such as ICDs, LVADs, and artificial hearts. A patient’s survival rate and health can be significantly improved by these mechanical heart pumps (Copeland & Slepian, 2004). Pumping ability of the heart that is unable to function effectively by its own is assisted by LVADs device that is surgically implanted (Birks & Khaghani, 2004).
It is clear that technology has come a long way to help increase the health and survival rate of patients with organ problems. However, the implantation process of the organs is costly to some not having the ability to afford becoming one of the faced the most significant challenges. This creates a social, economic ranking out of waiting lists to unavailable bioprinting to the general population.
[Try to beef up your conclusion as you revise. This is a solid essay, and it deserves an equally strong finish.]
[As you revise, I want you to really focus on your paragraph structure. You have some very short paragraphs, which is affecting the overall presentation and keeping you from your word count. Every sentence should have a clear, direct purpose. Look at this basic paragraph frame:
Topic sentence. Idea 1 that supports topic sentence. Example of Idea 1 from research with citation. [Add another example/citation as needed.] Transition, Idea 2 that supports topic sentence. Example of Idea 2 from research with citation. [Add another example/citation as needed.] [If applicable, Idea 3 that supports topic sentence. Example of Idea 3 from research with citation. Add another example/citation as needed.] Sentence that sums up topic sentence and introduces next topic sentence idea.
[Use a hard page break to keep the references at the top of the page.]
Birks, E. J., Yacoub, M. H., Banner, N. R., & Khaghani, A. (2004). The role of bridge to transplantation: should LVAD patients be transplanted?. Current opinion in cardiology, 19(2), 148-153.
Copeland, J. G., Smith, R. G., Arabia, F. A., Nolan, P. E., Sethi, G. K., Tsau, P. H., … & Slepian, M. J. (2004). Cardiac replacement with a total artificial heart as a bridge to transplantation. New England Journal of Medicine, 351(9), 859-867.
Fishman, J. A., & Rubin, R. H. (1998). Infection in organ-transplant recipients. New England Journal of Medicine, 338(24), 1741-1751.
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